Conversation With Ian This Morning, Causing Me to be Late for An Ear Appointment. My Ear is Progressing as Desired.

Ian (looking unaccountably excited for a Wednesday morning): “I just got an email from my dad. Can I share it?”

Me (willing to be late to find out what the excitement is all about): “Sure.”

Ian: “Okay. So when my mom’s mom passed away [25 or more years ago? Ian was a kid . . .], they told all of us kids to go through her house and if we saw anything that we liked, we should say something. So I saw this stuffed turtle, and it had marbles for eyes, and I thought it was pretty cool, so I asked for that."

Me (in my head): Hmmm! I wonder how old it is? They must have used glass for stuffed animal eyes before plastics became so popular.

Ian: “Anyway, I haven’t seen it in years and assumed it was gone, but my dad just emailed to say that, during his move, it turned up!”

Me: “Cool!” (okay . . . )

Ian: “I wonder where I’ll put it!”

Me: “Maybe it can sit on that giant green ball in the dining room, that you haven’t touched since you made me bring it back home!”

Ian: “Grrrr.  No, maybe I could take it to my office!”

Me: “The green ball, or both of them?”

Ian: “Yeah! Oh, but maybe there’s a law against that . . .”

Me: “Against having a giant ball at the office? . . . Wait a second . . . do you mean a TAXIDERMIED turtle???”

Ian: “Yes! A taxidermied turtle!”

Me: “Oh. Yes, the National Marine Fisheries Service might have rules against keeping taxidermied turtles in your office."